For a very long time, I've been a quiet human being, looking to please everybody and agree with them, prefering not to start a contradictory conversation and always staying on the "safe side". Of course I wasn't happy in many situations but avoiding a verbal fight or an endless conversation seemed the right idea at the time - I was quite a peaceful teenager back then.
Almost one year after I graduated from Uni, I moved to London. I have lived in France before for two years, but this was going to be the city to change me forever. The fast paced life, the endless queues, the people demanding what's theirs, the complaints and refunds taken seriously, etc. At first, my old self would say: "you can never have this mentality" - unhappiness seemed involved in the equation.
But I must confess - being able to speak your own mind, be honest with yourself and with the others never felt so good. Ok, I admit; I might lack diplomacy, but I'm happy to posses sincerity. I became a new me. Every year, I'm cleaning my closet - from social media to real life friends & acquaintances. I learned to say NO! And so should you.
I learned to say no to long friendships that became lifeless, to jobs where I didn't fit in, to people always demanding but never giving something in return, to friend requests from people I don't have anything in common with just for the sake of having 5000 Facebook friends, to fake people and relationships, to not doing what my heart tells me. Saying NO doesn't make you a bad person. And for sure it doesn't make you an egocentrical maniac. It just make you happy - when you feel you don't...just don't. It's perfectly fine, absolutely normal.
From time to time, make sure to put some order in your life: get rid of the (bad) habits that don't represent you anymore, get rid of people who take what's best in you and leave you with nothing, get rid of people who talk too much and never listen, get rid of those who always play the victim as if you were an executioner, get rid of those who just aren't your cup of tea, get rid of your old clothes you don't wear anymore (give them to charity and make people happy), get rid of foods that won't make you feel good, get rid of thoughts that aren't beneficial for your well-being, get rid of your job if you hate it and always feel tired and stressed (that job is NOT your life), get rid of old furniture that doesn't serve you anymore, get rid of everything that stands in the way of you becoming who you're meant to be.
For your own sake, learn to say NO. Embrace it, live with it, don't take shit from no one.
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Photo: Christian Vadan
Styling: Carla Vadan
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